Trauma, Israel, and Palestine

As I sit down today, October 17th, during my scheduled time to write my monthly newsletter for November, all I can think about is Israel and Palestine. And I have no idea what the world there, or what the world here, will look like 2 weeks from now. 

So what do I write about now, that may still be relevant in 2 or more weeks? 

I am a Jewish Canadian American woman who supports the end of apartheid and occupation in Palestine. And I believe in the humanity of all people. That much is clear. 

While none of my experience compares to the suffering and tragedy that is happening on the ground for the human beings who live in Israel and Palestine, sharing these opinions over the past few years, which I was raised and indoctrinated not to have, has put me at odds with family and longtime friends and have made me feel extremely lonely and isolated, especially during the past few weeks.

What I will also share, which may broaden the perspective on how people of all identities, all over the world, are feeling about Israel and Palestine, is that trauma is everywhere in this situation, even in ways we might not immediately recognize.

Trauma doesn’t just ‘happen’ to us and then it’s over. It lands in our bodies, it changes how our brains and nervous systems perceive and respond to fear and threat, and it changes the way we exist in and navigate the world. 

Trauma can be primary (it happens to us directly), it can be secondary (it happens to someone we care for directly, such as a family member or a patient), and it can be vicarious (it happens in the world to people that we may or may not know directly). It can also be passed on from generation to generation in several ways. 

Trauma can result from physical threat, emotional threat, or social threat.

No matter what kind of trauma we experience, it can be experienced by our nervous system in the same way as if it was happening directly to us. Further, an experience can impact one person in a completely different way than it impacts someone else (depending on a wide range of factors), so judging someone for being traumatized by an event that we ourselves were not traumatized by is harmful (and can be re-traumatizing). 

Taking all of these definitions and concepts together, here are some ways trauma might be showing up for you, the people around you, and people around the world, about the past and present Israel/Palestine events:

*Being part of a marginalized group that has historically faced persecution, genocide, or other forms of oppression, and wanting to protect yourself (and others) from it happening again.

*Being part of a marginalized group that is currently facing persecutation, attempted genocide, or other forms of oppression, and wanting to protect yourself (and others) from it continuing to happen.

*Being part of a marginalized group that has historically faced persecution, genocide, or other forms of oppression, and then becoming the oppressor yourself (yes, this is a trauma response)

*Not having agency over one’s own daily existence, including the ability to peacefully resist. 

*Not having one’s own humanity recognized because of membership in a particular group.

*Experiencing personally, knowing someone who is experiencing, or witnessing someone else experiencing a traumatic event such as death, kidnapping, displacement or injury. 

*Being conditioned to believe something that, when examined closely, actually contradicts your own personal values. 

*Speaking out against racism and other forms of oppression when it goes against what most of the people in your community feel or believe, thus threatening your inclusion in your community.

*Watching one group get oppressed or traumatized in news/media when you, yourself, have been oppressed as part of a different group.

*Seeing social media posts and comments that directly conflict with your own opinion on a subject, and might feel like a direct attack on you and your beliefs. (Sometimes the comments actually are a direct attack on you and your beliefs.)

What’s the impact of all this trauma? 

Here’s a beautiful quote from trauma expert and author Resmaa Menakem that illustrates how trauma can impact us on multiple levels: 

“Trauma decontextualized in a person looks like personality. Trauma decontextualized in a family looks like family traits. Trauma decontextualized in people looks like culture.”

When our trauma response is activated, we are no longer thinking rationally. It becomes all about survival in that moment: we aren’t capable of having rational discussions, of seeing things that contradict our viewpoints, or even allowing the space for more than one truth to exist, if it is different from our own truth. 

And again, whether our life is directly in danger, or whether we are reading a comment on a social media post that opposes our long-held views on a topic, our nervous system’s reaction can be identical; physical and social threat land in our bodies the same way. And, as Resmaa Menakem said in the quote above, when the traumas are repeated again and again, they can change people and cultures, often making them behave in ways that are unrecognizable from and inconsistent with their values.

Recognizing a trauma response in ourselves or in others is not a justification for violent, or otherwise harmful, behavior. 

It’s not a ‘get out of being a good person’ free card. But it’s information. Information that we might be responding from a place of trauma or that others might be responding from a place of trauma, which is often not a rational or effective way to actually get ourselves to physical or emotional safety. 

What are some of the ways to mitigate trauma? 

There are no easy answers to trauma, especially on a geopolitical stage, but here are some things that will always hold true. Know that you are not alone in experiencing trauma. Listen to understand, especially when you disagree. Be willing to learn something new. Try to see the commonalities as well as the differences. Check in and connect with others as much as you can. Choose how much vicarious trauma you consume, if you have the ability to do so (ie social media and news breaks). Develop your capacity to hold space for more than one thing to be true at the same time. Connect deeply with your values, and ask yourself, time and again, if your behavior is aligned with your values. Learn to recognize when trauma is activated in yourself, and in others, so that you can pause, care for yourself, and give yourself time to respond in a way that aligns with your values. Restore choice, agency, and self-determination for yourself and for others, whenever possible. Have compassion for yourself and for others, even when (especially when) you aren’t at your best. 

And give yourself permission to ask for help. 

For more information on trauma, please check out Resmaa Menakem, Hala Khouri, Prentis Hemphill, Lodestar, and Dr. Maiysha Clairborne.