I’m a meditation teacher, and I’m addicted to my phone

There, I said it. I’m addicted to my phone.

2 weekends ago, I judged my nephew for having his nose in his phone 24h a day during his visit to Atlanta.

Last weekend, I judged my friend for having her nose in her phone when we were trying to have a conversation during a girls’ getaway weekend.

But I’m just as bad as them, if not worse. I should know better- I’m a meditation teacher!

I tell myself that it’s for my business. I need to stay up to date on my emails and social media, because that’s the primary way I interact with potential and current clients.

Maybe that’s how it started. But now I’m just a phone junkie. The primitive parts of my brain are just seeking the dopamine rush. And the over-stimulated, present-day part of my brain is looking for a distraction from an otherwise lovely life.

It feels horrible.

And it’s going to change. It’s got to.

3 months ago, before a weekend getaway to a mountain cabin with my boyfriend and his kids, one of the kids actually requested that we have a screen-free weekend. I kid you not. He said he wanted to be more present, that we only had one weekend in that beautiful location and he didn’t want to miss it.

So we made it happen. It took more work on our part, for sure. We couldn’t buy ourselves extra sleep in the mornings by giving them devices. We couldn’t just throw the TV on and allow them to mindlessly pass hours. And, we had to set an example. We put our own phones away for the weekend.

How did it go? It was incredible.

They fought less. We engaged with them more. We had fun- we drew, we played games, we cooked together, and we spent time in nature. And I loved being free from my addiction, if only for the weekend.

When we got back in town, the no-screen rule stayed, and I wouldn’t go back for anything.

But when I’m not with them, I’m completely off the program.

So what has changed to make me own up to it now?

• Rather than annoyance, I felt empathy for my nephew 2 weeks ago. He is literally helpless in the face of this powerful addiction. Just like I am!

• My conversation with my friend last weekend on our girls’ trip- we each noticed the other person’s distracted phone behavior, and we weren’t pleased about it, but neither one of us could recognize that we were just as guilty as the other one.

• I’ve started to get some of those icky feelings when I look at other people’s professional posts in the doctor-wellness space. I’ve never had that happen before, and I have no interest in propagating the FOMO.

What am I doing about it? I’m eating meals without my phone next to me, and I’ve started to do a gratitude practice before each meal so that I’m more mindful about experiencing my meals instead of distracting myself.

I also took Facebook and Instagram off my phone. The front screen of my phone looks like a gap-toothed 6-year-old, with gaping holes where those 2 apps used to be.

And every time I pick up my phone for a dopamine rush, I am greeted with those holes to remind me how much time and energy I’m saving myself by putting. the. phone. down.

It’s a start. It feels like a steeply uphill battle, but it’s also really exciting. I’m ready to connect better with friends and family in the moment. I’m ready to focus on what I’m putting into the world in an authentic way, rather than how it might compare to other people.

Most importantly, I’m reclaiming my ability to choose how and where I spend my time and energy.

I want to hear from you: how has phone addiction impacted your life? What have you done to fight it? Has it worked? Please comment below!